Has someone ever told you that you're their inspiration or they admire your strength or you're doing a great job, but then your first reaction is ‘Me? Did you really mean me?’ Well, that's what we're talking about today - Imposter Syndrome.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is a phenomenon where one believes they are not as good as others think, but it doesn't stop there. What makes it even worse is the nagging feeling that one will eventually be found out. It's like you are considering yourself as a very weak creature that has been caught pretending to belong in a world of superior beings. It is essentially an imbalance between actual competence and perceived competence.
But why does this happen?
The truth is that there isn't simply one reason. In my research I found different theories trying to explain but this diagram by Chance simply hit the nail on the head.
In the illustration, Chance suggested six main reasons why this occurs.
The Imposter cycle.
The need to be special/ need to be the very best.
Superman/Superwoman aspect.
Fear of failure.
Denial of competence and discounting praise.
Fear and guilt about success.
The imposter cycle starts with a task that is followed by either extreme over-preparation or procrastination with overcompensated preparation. Important here is the step of rejecting positive feedback, both from self and others.
You see, perceived impostors not only secretly feel the need to be the best when compared to others, but they also set impossible (and often, superhuman) standards. This isn’t necessarily by any fault of theirs as it can be from upbringing (with over-achieving parents) or personality traits, such as higher levels of neuroticism and lower levels of conscientiousness.
There’s also the nagging anxiety surrounding failing, which is closely linked to perfectionism.
Evident is the difficulty in internalising their wins, preferring to ascribe it to external factors only — luck, privilege or favor.
This syndrome is common among many Kenyans whereby when you tell someone for example, ‘you have a nice house' their first instinct is to respond ‘Ni kujaribu tu’ ama ‘Ni God.’
So what can we do?
Several recommendations have been made, such as acknowledging one’s feelings, tracking/monitoring’s one’s success journey and talking to a therapist (if necessary).
But what I’ve found the most helpful are maintaining a sense of balance and gratitude.
Balance in acknowledging not only the external factors that have brought me this far, but the internal as well.
Gratitude in graciously and thankfully taking opportunities that interest me and come my way.
I can confirm that I’ve in the past been a victim when it comes to the part of someone congratulating me, because as Christians we are taught to give God all the glory. But I learnt instead of saying ‘Ni God’ I say something like ‘By God's grace I've been able to do or achieve this.’
Makes sense, right? What do you think? Leave a comment, let's have a discussion.
Side Note: It feels really nice to be back writing the Mental Health articles again after a break of almost six months. This is my first piece this year and we are back like we never left. So subscribe to the newsletter to get the articles directly to your email for free for the rest of the year.
Thanks for reading. Cheers and remember to #Stay_Mentally_Fit
#Not_a_motivational_speaker_just_a_peddler_of_hope
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